When we last left our infomercial wiz, Mr. Trudeau was making the ridiculous claim that animals in the wild never get sick and, therefore, we must really be doing something wrong if we get a cold once in a while.
Chapter Six, titled "How to Never Get Sick Again" was one I could not wait to sink my teeth into.
Trudeau opens the chapter by arrogantly claiming it might as well be titled "How to Be Young Forever" since his tips will not only prevent you from getting sick, they will also reverse the aging process!
I'm surprised he doesn't pitch something along the lines of "If you call within the next 30 minutes, I'll even provide you with a small bottle from the Fountain of Youth! CALL NOW!"
Trudeau claims that "a healthy person has little, if any, body odor, bad breath, foot odor, [and] their urine and stool do not smell."
Really? I know plenty of people with diabetes who don't have body odor or bad breath, just as I know people who are in fine physical condition but apparently don't get along too well with their bar of soap and toothbrush. I'll chalk this one up to yet another Trudeau opinion spun as fact.
He then goes on a rant about life expectancy, explaining that our sense of aging is completely warped. In his mind, living until the age of 85 is a darn shame, since our bodies are meant to live until we are at least 120.
"The fact of the matter is a person 100 years old should be strong, flexible, full of life and energy, and have the physical capacity of what the average forty-year-old person has," he explains.
Since Trudeau is so hell-bent on using animals and nature as benchmarks, perhaps he can see that all animals -- including humans -- go through a life cycle, which goes from birth to death, and includes childhood, adolescence, adulthood, and old age. Being 100 years of age and unable to run a marathon like someone in their thirties is not a sign of decay and disease!
Trudeau then goes on to list his "amazing secrets" for never getting sick and remaining young. I will divide these into several posts so I can break down my favorites at length.
1. "Get 15 colonics in 30 days."
That is one colonic every two days! As I mentioned recently, colonics are completely unnecessary. The only thing they accomplish is the loss of water weight, which is immediately gained back. Additionally, they destroy all the healthy bacteria in our colon, which is responsible for fighting away infection!
Trudeau claims that as I am reading his book, I have "three to fifteen pounds of undigested fecal matter stuck" in my colon, which in turn cause gas and bloating, slow down my metabolism, and prevent me from absorbing nutrients! I'm surprised he isn't also blaming the death of baby penguins in Antarctica to my colon.
Furthermore, if Trudeau is so concerned with nutrients, why is he advocating people get colonics, which wipe minerals like potassium (which our colons absorb) out of our bodies?
I am going out on a limb here and assuming Trudeau has never taken a basic human physiology course. Otherwise, he would know that toxins can not build up in our colon since it consistently sheds its lining.
As I have mentioned before, the best way to cleanse your system is by reducing the amount of junk food you eat and increasing your intake of fresh, whole foods, getting at least 30 grams of fiber a day, and staying hydrated. This alone will keep the nasty stuff moving through your system so it can be excreted.
And, if you want to speed up your metabolism while getting rid of toxins, do physical activity! This way, you'll sweat the toxins away while keeping your metabolism working at a speedy rate.
Tips two through eight consist of more cleanses! That's right -- Trudeau wants you to get liver, kidney, gallbladder, parasite, and full-body cleanses.
Is Trudeau supposed to be helping people get healthy? The above sounds like the perfect way to suck out all sorts of nutrients from our body. Enough said.
10. Use a rebounder (mini trampoline) ten minutes a day.
"A rebounder stimulates the immune system and is incredibly effective at cleaning out toxins out of the cells."
And, according to Trudeau, it stimulates all major organs and glands.
The same can be said for ANY exercise, whether it's power walking, lifting weights, taking an aerobics class, dancing for 20 minutes, or doing jumping jacks in your underwear.
There is no need to go out and keep a mini trampoline handy to prevent from getting sick.
11. "Walk one hour a day."
"Walking outside reduces stress, stimulates the lymphatic system, promotes a thin, lean body, and walking while looking at the world eliminates depression and dramatically reduces stress."
Again, any physical activity will result in the production of endorphins, the "feel-good" natural chemicals that have been linked with feelings of vitality and
I do want to point out that exercise will not cure or eliminate depression. If you are clinically depressed, power-walking for 60 minutes a day might help, but it should by no means replace counseling or any medication you may be on.
And, yes, ANY physical activity will promote a thin, lean body if it is also accompanied by a sensible and balanced eating plan. Walking one hour a day and then dining at Burger King is a whole different story.
The important thing is to simply move more. Your body doesn't care if you're walking in Beverly Hills or a treadmill in Des Moines, Iowa. Simply move!
If you weigh 300 pounds and do not exercise regularly, do not attempt to walk for one hour if you currently feel short of breath after going up one flight of stairs.
Rather, simply start by walking for as long as you can handle, even if it's just five minutes. Then, slowly try to increase the amount of time you walk each day -- even if it's just 20 more seconds each day.
Although you need to challenge your body's limits, you also need to respect them to avoid from getting hurt.
In a few days, I'll post more of Mr. Trudeau's gems. Come back for a good laugh!