Breakfast of Chumps

Earlier this year, Wendy's gradually unveiled its new breakfast items in different regions of the United States, and -- joy of joys -- they are now available nationwide.

The results? Unfortunately, I see it as obesity: 1, nutrition: 0.

A buttermilk fresh sausage biscuit (pictured at right) starts your day off with 580 calories, 1,620 milligrams of sodium (75% of a day's maximum recommendation), and an entire day's worth of saturated fat -- that's equivalent to TWO Big Mac's!

The grande burrito, meanwhile, will lead to a grande tummy in no time.

We're talking 740 calories, 17 grams of saturated fat, and 1,980 milligrams of sodium.

The grande isn't the big man on campus when it comes to fiber, though. It delivers just three grams (this much fiber in 80 calories would be considered "great", but in 740 calories, it's miniscule).

Like a sweet breakfast? If you're craving a cinnamon roll, I hope you REALLY like sugar. One of these 310 calories "treats" packs in 2 tablespoons' of added sugar to your day.

As much as I love to police the fast food menus and show you the horrors, I think it is only fair to provide you with adequate choices in case you have no other options (i.e.: you need to get breakfast on the road as you are driving down any major highway in this country).

If so, the egg and cheese biscuit is among the least offensice items, thanks to its 290 calories, 4 grams of saturated fat, and 700 milligrams of sodium.

If you're in the mood for a sweet start to your morning, opt for the French toast sticks.

Although they contain just as many calories as the cinnamon roll, the sugar content is significantly lower (8 grams -- two teaspoons -- rather than 24 grams!). The saturated fat count is also a respectable three grams.

Currently, Wendy's is hosting a bizarre contest here, where the ultimate prize is a "lifetime" of their hamburgers.

Shouldn't there be an asterisk after "lifetime", referring readers to teeny print explaining that their lifetime might be reduced as a result of eating too many?